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This fact informs my basic philosophy: Parenting begins with you. How many times have you heard a flight attendant utter the reminder that in case of emergency, you must first secure your oxygen mask and then your child’s? When you’re thirty thousand feet in the air and there’s some kind of mechanical malfunction in the fight gear, you need to put your mask on first so you can keep breathing; only then can you help your child put on hers.So it is with moms and daughters here on the ground.For many, motherhood is one of life's greatest joys, but getting along with your children, particularly daughters, isn't always a piece of cake.In “Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication,” author Dr.At this point, it doesn’t matter whether the two of you fight with harsh words or clenched fists.All that matters is that you begin the process of working toward a healthier and more loving dynamic with your daughter. I hope you appreciate the power and importance you have in the relationship with your daughter. To explain this concept, I often use the analogy of the oxygen masks on an airplane.However, your relationship with your daughter must now be your exclusive focus.It is your responsibility to fully embrace the next challenge and figure out a better way to communicate with your daughter.
And as you embrace this philosophy, you will have an even more successful outcome with the Chair Strategy.As medical director of the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services, the nation’s largest child welfare organization, I have treated this country’s most vulnerable population.In my private practice as a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, I have treated the nation’s most privileged.Are they situated back-to-back, with the two of you in a deadlock, unable to see each other’s point of view?Are the chairs face-to-face, enabling each of you to share respectfully opposing viewpoints?